Tag: Australia

Kerry O’Brien’s delightful gaffe that there was ‘a swing to the ABC’ in Bennelong aroused our elated mirth at the woes of the rodent as the eloquent and lovely Maxine McKew looked poised to take his seat. The presence of the Chaser team in the outer election commentary area and prior interview of a non-committal Craig Reucassel had perhaps influenced his thoughts.

For the government under Rudd will be certain to attend to the needs of our ailing dear Aunty, debilitated by the mercantilist, corporate media influenced, wowserish rodent pack. Essential to the health of our similarly diseased democracy, our ABC is headed for better days.

Around the nation as the landslide results became clear, the joy was palpable. We were swilling our third bottle of pink champagne by the time Howard belatedly conceded defeat, advertising as he did so from the podium sticker that he was beholden to Sofitel Wentworth, in probable future Lieberal leader, Malcolm Turnbull’s electorate, for their hospitality to his wake. His farewell speech was lengthy, pompous and whiny, the gluttonous prime miniature scraping the barrel for the limelight he has craved to the detriment of his own party.

A 6% swing against the Lieberals with the loss of 26 seats so far and Howard likely to lose Bennelong mean the wolves will be feasting on dwarf carcass for some time. 88 Labor seats are predicted at this stage. We are pleased that Fringe readers were perspicacious, with 82% polling Team Rodent would lose.

Good riddance, little Johnny, and may you slink away from public life completely, not to reemerge in the form of a vocal statesman like your more admirable counterpart, Malcolm Fraser. And farewell, Costello, always a bridesmaid and never a bride, your career tainted by rodent droppings and a general lack of guts and ambition. We will never forget how you sold off Whorestralia’s gold reserves BEFORE the gold boom, or removed capital gains tax for foreign investors whilst offering no such relief to us locals.

Rudd’s victory address was littered with painful slogans, directed at the average yob who will today be examining their assets and debts in light of more imminent interest rate rises. Yet at least, Whorestralia can now revel in the fact that we can as a nation participate in enlightened ventures like the signing of the Kyoto treaty, removing our soldiers from Bush’s sordid Iraq debacle and repairing the public health and education sectors. All worthy of foregoing tax bribes for!

The restoration of Whorestralian workers’ protections and rights may have to wait till next July, when the Senate will fall to a Labor majority, though we would not be surprised if the some of remnants of the imploded Lieberals turn tail on their former dearly beloved dwarf leader’s draconic industrial policies.

Good luck to you, Kevvie … and keep the light shining. Breathing multiple sighs of relief, we won’t have to leave the country in disgust after all.