Category: Australia

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Going, going …. sold!

John Howard - Crazy Warehouse Guy

Latest figures on foreign investment in Asstralia are worrisome.

In 2003/04, foreign investment totalled $1,059,345m – and 30.8% of Whorestralia’s total enterprise equity was owned by foreigners, with the United Stupids heading the list at 32% of total foreign ownership, followed closely by the United Kooks at 30%. By the end of the December 2006 quarter, foreign investment increased to $1,433,466m.

That’s an gigantic 35.3% increase in foreign investment in just 3 years. Why did the rodent add more sugar by removing CGT for foreign equities investors last December?

Nett Asstralian foreign debt has risen from $390,565m in 03/04 to a disturbing $521,161m at the end of Dec 06. The vast majority of foreign debt is implicated in the private sector, with a disgraceful increase from $385,490m in 03/04 to $518,841m in Dec 06.

Asstralia’s total liabilities at the end of 2006 were a staggering $900,258m.

So what use has the concurrent resource boom during the past 3 years been to Whorestralia? It is clear that much of the profits therefrom have been expropriated overseas, leaving the Whorestralian economy beholden.

Team Rodent has patently been very busy selling us out.

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Kangaroo court gags Hicks

David Hicks gagged

Playing along with the criminal United Stupids government in order to come home to Asstralia post haste, Hicks has acquiesced to a laughable token 9 month sentence in addition to time already served, with a total 7 year sentence, provided he shuts his mouth for a year and withdraws claims he was mistreated by the torturing septics.

He will serve his time in Australia under a plea deal and must arrive in Australia before May 29, 2007.

This means he’ll be free at the end of December 07, after the next federal election. The rodent will be able to lie that he has supported a Asstralian citizen’s rights whilst protecting the infantile Whorestralian public from the Hicks menace.

Terry Hicks however pointed out that

his son was forced to undergo a plea-bargain and his case was never properly tested in court.

“Nobody will ever know what the evidence was.”

Hicks home soonAnd that’s how opaque, dictatorial regimes like it.

Greens leader, Bob Brown foresees the action to come:

“However the minute Hicks arrives in Australia, our legitimate justice system kicks into action. It may hold some nasty shocks for the Howard government which has endorsed this illegal process at Guantanamo Bay.”

Hicks is bound by the “court” orders consequent to his plea bargain which have been strongly criticised by civil rights lawyers:

They were especially critical of the order forbidding Hicks from protesting any mistreatment, saying such a requirement would be unconstitutional in a civilian US court.

“If the United States were not ashamed of its conduct, it wouldn’t hide behind a gag order,” said Ben Wizner, staff lawyer for the American Civil Liberties Union.

“The agreement says he wasn’t mistreated. Why aren’t we allowed to judge for ourselves?”

David Hicks guilty of being fatTerry Hicks commented

“The Americans made David sign a paper to say he was never abused… when we knew he has been – David told us.”

…

Mr Hicks said David would have to think about whether he would want to tell his story.

“Once David’s home he’ll have time to think about that,” he said.

“Who knows, he may want to change his mind.”

We can but hope so … we can be pretty certain the rodent will attempt to capitalise on a silenced Hicks’ misfortunes to boost his woeful electoral position.

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Hicks pleads guilty to sham court

David Hicks pleads guiltyAccording to David Hicks’ dad, Terry, his son has taken the go home card offered by his jailers, pleading guilty to providing material support to terrorists “because he was desperate to escape five years of ‘hell’ in Guantanamo Bay” and return to Whorestralia.

During his Kafkesque incarceration, whilst awaiting charges to be concocted by the United Stupids military kangaroo court, Hicks has maintained his innocence.

He decided to plead guilty yesterday to one count of material support of terrorism at a late-night, unscheduled hearing of the military commission, after an apparent deal between his defence team and the prosecution.

It’s likely he will serve any sentence in a maximum security prison in South Asstralia and be home before the federal election.

The reprehensible rodent characteristically applauded Hicks’ plea as “a vindication of the military commission process”, whilst to his credit, Nat’s renegade senator Barnaby Joyce commented

“The only thing that is guilty here is the judicial process under which he was being tried.”

US war criminalsTerry and David’s sister Stephanie flew home from Guantanamo

despite being told as the aircraft was on the tarmac that Hicks was about to plead guilty. Mr Hicks had flown in earlier in the day and spent several hours with his son. They both cried. It was their first contact in more than two years.

Terry Hicks said: “He knows that John Howard and the Government is frightened that he will do something when he gets back. What the hell is he going to do? He did nothing in Afghanistan … His main aim is to come back to Australia, see his kids, and settle down.”

Blaming the Australian government for pressuring his son to plead guilty, Terry said

“They demonised him, they pre-judged him for five years. I suppose Mr Howard would be throwing his hands up with glee at the moment but as far as I’m concerned this was a way out for David regardless of whether he was guilty or innocent, we’ll never ever know now.”

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A big tree attracts the gale – old Chinese proverb

“A good heavy book holds you down. It’s an anchor that keeps you from getting up and having another gin and tonic.” – Roy Blount, Jr.

Amandarin Grindstone comes out with more detail about her language acquisition expenditure, admitting that

taxpayers had in fact picked up a $54,000 bill for her Mandarin lessons and speech coaching.

Amandarin EconomisesThus, perhaps her interpreter costs would be $16,000 out of the original $70,000 said to be involved in her Chinese diplomatic linguistic efforts.

“If money had been spent for somebody to come in and just give me tutoring in a language so that I could order a gin and tonic, or go to a restaurant and order a meal, that would be fair enough to complain,” she told media outlets.

“But that’s not what it is, it’s helping with speech preparation and things”.

Does Amandarin enjoy her gin and tonics as much as she obviously does her tucker?

We await the discoveries of her Immigration ministry successor, Kevin Andrews, who is conducting

a full search for all receipts, bills, invoices and other documents relating to his predecessor’s training in the Chinese, or any other, language.

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Rodent on a hot tin roof

Howard arrogant48 naughty pollies have rushed to update their investment interests since Howard called for a spring clean following the revelation of Santoro’s disastrous blunders. The miscreants include Lie-berals Malcolm Turnbull, Mal Washer, Bronwyn Bishop, Don Randall and Jo Gash, and Labor frontbencher Chris Bowen.

New parliamentary secretary for health, Brett Mason is the mischievous boy for whose declaration oversights the rodent has shown unremarkable forbearance.

Senator Mason, who was promoted to parliamentary secretary for health this week in the wake of Santo Santoro’s resignation for failing to declare share transactions, had undeclared investments dating back 18 months.

Senator Mason this week declared four new managed funds investments on the register of senators’ interests – the oldest dating back to August 2005.

Senators and MPs are required to disclose changes to their interests within 28 days.

Mr Howard said he was angry that Senator Mason had breached the rules, but said he had fixed the matter before his promotion.

With warm paternal beneficence, the prime monster has decided not to sack Mason, declaring

“I think in all of the circumstances and particularly as he has repaired the breach before he was a parliamentary secretary, as distinct from Santoro, who committed multiple breaches after becoming a minister – no.”

Apparently, unless one is a minister, undeclared monetary dealings are comfortably irrelevant, with contravention of the 28 day disclosure requirement of little import to the beleaguered rodent.